It’s ironic that after the fantastic outcome of the US Presidential election last month, I would still feel the urge to complain. However, there are two months left of the Bush administration, the global economy is as lethargic as a taxi driver after a three day grog session and there are entirely too many home invasions still happening. Rants can still be justified...
I’ve seen an increase in SPAM recently, most notably from the “friendly North”. It needs to stop. Immediately. I’m hereby announcing the launch of a nationwide petition called “Stop the North” (www.stopthenorth.com) and I’d like to encourage everyone to join this fight. The goal is to effectively convince Fiji’s Internet service providers to cut off the northern islands from having Internet access until such a time that they prove themselves responsible of the privilege. Ok, maybe it’s not fair to hold it against everyone but frustrations peaked this week when a 7.2MB file was emailed to me, unsolicited, from a company up there trying to sell me some pizza. Come on, people...
That SPAM experience led me to brainstorm a bit. Here’s a list of some suggested ground rules for “Internet access in a Pacific Island Nation”:
- Do not email files larger than 1 or 2 MB in size. If you don’t know how to determine a file size, please shut down the computer and find something else to do.
- See number 1.
- Upon receiving email that promises great wealth if you forward the message to your entire address book, think twice. The old adage “it’s too good to be true” is unfortunately just as relevant online as it is offline.
- Sending credit card numbers, bank account information, passwords and other “sensitive” information in an email is effectively the equivalent of publishing the same information in a Saturday Fiji Times classified advertisement. Don’t do it.
- If you happen to own a pizza restaurant in Labasa, try to refrain from sending a coupon which expires within 24 hours to recipients in Suva. In fact, if you send any email selling or offering a “deal” to someone who doesn’t ask for it, it is SPAM. Capiche?
We’ll start with those five and if anyone would like to add to the list, feel free to email them along to complaints@oceanic.com.fj.
Keeping the grievances going...I’ve been seeing a bunch of local products which are being labeled as “export quality”. Is this supposed to mean that all the stuff we’re consuming in-country is “non-export quality”? That doesn’t sound too appealing but is a hell of a marketing pitch. I think it falls in the same category as people who sell their cars with the keywords “expat-owned” as if that automatically translates to some inherent benefit. I was in my friend’s car the other day...he’s an expat. His vehicle was filled with rubbish dating back to before the Qarase government. Not a pretty scene but I’m sure if he sells it, the “expat owned” label will get him a thousand or two more. Go figure.
What actually is export-quality and how does that really translate into a mark of quality? The label can probably be used for human beings too. Since my wife is Japanese and because I’m American, my kids are totally export-quality. They’ll probably be very pleased when I tell them. However, they’ll still need to pay $75 departure tax at the airport.
Come to think of it, I wonder if this column is of export-quality?
From
Mailife : December 2008, SPAM FILTER
