Thursday a.m. Sucked.

So I've been traveling on business for the past few weeks back in the United States and that explains the absence of blogging. There's always an initial desire for me to go into some rant about how fast the Internet is over there, or how much variety there is in food  or how many friggin' television stations there are to choose from but today, I will restrain myself and spare you, dear reader, the details.

I've been jet-lagged most of the week...neither fully here nor there...having difficulty putting things into focus but as the week has worn on, it's gotten a tad better. I have, however, been waking up at 4.30 pretty much every morning, counting the dogs barking in the distance in a futile attempt to fall back asleep. When I reach over for my Blackberry, the fight is over and I've lost.

At 7.30 a.m. on Thursday, I began my ride to the office in my friend's car, which I've had while my own vehicle is in the shop. I turned the corner by the Laucala Bay McDonalds to see the all-too-familiar LTA guys out on patrol and some guy standing by his now-captured vehicle with a look of "who me?" on his face. Poor bastard, I thought...

I navigated through the cones catching the eye of the LTA worker as he glared at my wheel tax sticker on the window. I didn't expect any problem, of course. Then again, how many people look at the wheel tax sticker before getting into a car. I drove through the checkpoint and then heard a thud as the LTA guy smacked the back of the car.

What the...?

I pulled over, already beginning the scream in my head....no, not today..not at 7.30 in the morning.

"Sir, your vehicle registration expired on September 2nd." he said.

I looked at my phone to see the date.

September 3.

Shit.

"Oh no...I am SOOOOOO sorry...this is not my car and I had absolutely no idea that the registration was expired. I can't believe it." I pleaded, perhaps a bit too forcefully...

"Can you step out of the car, sir?" Mr. LTA said. "May I see your license?"

I hopped out and stood on the sidewalk, realising at that point that I was making the same "Who me?" face that the other poor bastard was. I looked down the sidewalk towards him but he was showing me no love. We were both screwed and forced to face the shame on our own.

Mr. LTA then kicked me in the stomach and smashed me across the face with a tire iron...

"Mr. Segal...your license expired eight months ago."

Ladies and gentlemen, if there's ever a time in your life when you just know that it's a good idea to simply turn around and go home for the day, this was one of those times. If you've ever wished to be laying in bed, jet-lagged, counting the guttural utterances of neighbourhood canines, this was one of those times. Anywhere but here...anywhere but here.

There was only really one thing to say.

"Excuse me? There must be some mistake."

Impounding fee: $72
Driving an expired license: $50
Driving an unregistered vehicle: $50
Re-registration: $65
Renewal of driver's license for one year: $14

Mood, first thing on a Thursday morning: Priceless.

It really is good to be back.